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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?